journal
what kind of interaction have i had with him lately????
i thought we could stay friends, but i cannot anymore, i never really could.
i am always afraid to start sth that i want to make very good, true and serious.
i dont know what to do.my mind is telling me one thing and my heart another,i uesed to think with my heart instead of my mind. but i guess i just think too much with my mind finally my heart showed me the way that lead me to extremes.
now i only want to be who i am, i want to be able to enjoy this rather than be frightened of it.but let it show, i wouldnt dare.(i belive the great saying in Buddhism."NO LOVE,NO FEAR".That is the one I am looking for.That does allays the fears.)
i dont risk anything, though actually i risk even more.
I've been more and more weak and worried for quite some time and I really don't think I 'm going to try and change the situation until I find the power to make me quiet and calm.
