If Microsoft built cars……
At a computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM1 had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash2 twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT"3. But then you would have to buy more seats.

6. If you tried to get your car to a mechanic, you'd make a long distance call, be put on hold for three or four hours, when you finally got the mechanic, you'd be told how to fix it yourself, and the mechanic would hang up before you even tried his or her suggestions.

1． 每天汽车会无缘无故地撞车两次。

2．每一次道路标线重画时，你就得买一部新车。

3． 有时你的车会莫名其妙地在高速公路上熄火，你也只好认了，然后重新发动，继续上路。

4． 有时，驾车完成某个动作，比如左转，可能会导致熄火，而且无法再次发动，这种情形下惟一的解决方法是重新安装引擎。

5． 每次汽车里只能有一个人，除非你购买的是95型或NT型，不过那样一来你就得加座椅。

6． 如果你想要请一位机修工帮忙，就得打长途电话，还得在线上等三到四个小时，好不容易通上电话后，他会告诉你怎样自己维修，而且在你还没来得及试试他的建议之前电话就被挂断了。

7. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for many years.

8. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

9. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

10. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

11. Your car's owner's manual would have been written by someone for whom English clearly was a second language.

12. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

13. Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft Cassettes.
7． 人们会为微软式汽车的新性能而激动不已，全然忘记了许多年前其他公司的汽车就已具备了这些性能。

8．车里的安全气囊弹出前，会先问“你确定吗？”

9．有时候你的汽车会无缘无故地将你锁在外面，除非你同时拉着车门把手、转动车钥匙、再抓着车上的收音机天线，它才会让你进去。

10．每次通用推出一款新车时，买主们就得重新学一遍开车，因为新款与旧款的操作方法完全不同。

11．你车上的“驾驶员手册”可能是由某位母语显然不是英语的家伙编写的。

12. 即使撞车你也不知道是怎么回事。

13. 微软式汽车会配有专门的收/放音机，但它只能收听微软调频台，只能播放微软磁带。

14. If you still ran old versions of car (ie. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11), then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to drive much faster, and on more roads!

15. If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could just borrow your friends and then copy it.

16. Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganize the ignition for a few days before it worked.

17. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

1. GM：即General Motors，美国通用汽车公司，世界最大的汽车制造商。

2. crash:（车辆）撞毁；（电脑）瘫痪。

3. "Car95" or "CarNT"：是对微软生产的WINDOWS 95和WINDOWS NT软件的戏拟，下文的CarDOS 6.22和CarWIN 3.11则模仿DOS6.22和WINDOWS3.11软件。

14. 如果你依然开着老式车（也就是说， DOS 6.22型车或WIN 3.11型车），那你就会被人称为“老土”，但你的车（和新式车相比）能跑得更快，能上更多的路。

15. 如果你买不起新车，干脆借朋友的车，复制一下即可。

16. 每次你买了车，都得先花上几天时间改装调试点火开关，然后它才能正常工作。

17. 关掉引擎的办法是按下“启动”键。